Special Needs
Special Needs FAQs & Resources
Practical guidance for families, along with special education resources and services recommended by parents and practitioners in our community.
Frequently Asked Questions
Select a question below to expand the answer. The topics are organized to help families find church, school, therapy, daily-life, and transition guidance more easily.
Church & Parish Involvement
Where should we start?
Start in whatever way feels most comfortable for your family. Some families begin by visiting the church during a quiet time so their child can explore the space and become familiar with it before attending Mass. Some attend daily Mass since it's less crowded. Building a routine that has structure and repetition is best for success.
You might also prepare your child ahead of time by talking about what will happen, using pictures, showing a simple visual schedule (sit, stand, listen, sing, Communion, leave), or reading a book. Starting small, such as attending part of a Mass, and gradually building up can make the experience more positive.
Sitting near the back or aisle can make it easier to step out if needed, and bringing quiet supports like a fidget, headphones, or a religious book can help your child feel more at ease.
It can also be helpful to celebrate small successes and use a simple reward system. Even small steps like sitting quietly for one prayer, participating in a song, or walking up during Communion are big wins. Before Mass, talk with your child about expectations, such as using a quiet voice and participating in prayer. You can let them know they are working toward a preferred reward. Consistency is key, and following through helps build understanding over time.
Most importantly, don’t feel like you have to do everything at once. Focus on presence, not perfection. Simply showing up is a meaningful first step, and we are here to support you along the way.
What happens if my child is loud or has trouble sitting still?
Will we be supported?
Children express themselves in many different ways, and that’s okay. If your child is loud or needs to move, they are still welcome here. There is no expectation for “perfect behavior.”
Many families find it helpful to sit near the back or on an aisle so they can step out if needed, or to bring quiet supports like fidgets, headphones, or a small religious item(rosary, book, etc). Some may even sit in the front to eliminate distractions behind them. Taking breaks is completely okay. Over time, starting small and gradually increasing how long your child stays can help build comfort.
Is church a safe place?
I get embarrassed?
We strive to be a place of compassion, patience, and understanding. You are not alone, many families share similar experiences. If you ever feel embarrassed or unsure, please know that your child belongs here.
Even being at Mass for a short time is meaningful. Small steps, like staying for one prayer or participating in a song, are real successes, and they matter.
Are there other families like ours here?
It’s hard when we don’t see anyone like us.
Yes, there are other families navigating similar experiences, even if it’s not always visible. We are working to build stronger connections between families.
We also have a telegram group chat that has announcements about special needs events around the diocese(INSERT LINK HERE). If you’re looking to connect more personally, you can reach out to the Office of Life, and we can connect you with families who are open to sharing their experiences and walking alongside you.
Is it okay if my child uses a fidget or other sensory tools during church?
Absolutely. Sensory tools like fidgets, headphones, or religious picture books are welcome. These supports can help your child stay regulated and engaged during Mass, and we encourage families to use whatever helps their child feel comfortable.
Will my child be truly welcomed here, not just tolerated?
Yes. Our goal is not just to make space for your child, but to celebrate them as a valued part of our community. Your presence matters. Children with special needs belong in the Church, and your family enriches our parish. Every small step, every effort to come to Mass, is part of your child’s faith journey, and we are honored to walk that journey with you.
Can my child participate in youth groups, communion, or catechism?
Are there supports if needed?
Yes, your child is always welcome to participate in the life of the Church. We believe every child should have the opportunity to grow in faith and be part of our community. Some programs, such as Communion preparation, may offer more structured or direct support. Currently, St. Thomas offers a special needs Communion program. However, not all programs are able to provide individualized supports, as each child’s needs and abilities are unique. Because of this, certain groups or settings may be a better fit than others depending on your child. We encourage you to contact your parish office and connect with program leaders to discuss your child’s specific needs. Together, you can determine what supports may be available and which opportunities will best support your child’s success and comfort.
Understanding the Diagnosis
What does my child’s diagnosis mean?
A diagnosis helps explain your child’s strengths and challenges. It guides treatment, school supports, and access to services.
Did I cause this?
No. Developmental and neurological conditions are not caused by parenting. They result from differences in brain development, genetics, or medical factors.
Will my child outgrow this?
Some challenges may improve with support and therapy. Many conditions are lifelong, but children can make significant progress.
Should we get additional evaluations?
Your pediatrician or specialist can recommend testing if there are concerns about learning, speech, motor skills, or behavior.
Education & School Services
What services is my child entitled to at school?
Children with qualifying disabilities are entitled to a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). This means the school must provide supports and services that meet your child’s unique needs at no cost to you.
Depending on your child’s needs, services may include:
- Specialized instruction
- Speech, occupational, or physical therapy
- Behavioral support services
- Counseling
- Classroom accommodations
- Assistive technology
- Transportation accommodations
Schools must educate children in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE), meaning your child should learn alongside peers without disabilities as much as appropriate. If you believe your child is struggling, you do not have to wait for the school to suggest help, you can request support or evaluations at any time from the special education teacher or school psychologist.
What is an IEP?
An Individualized Education Program (IEP) is a legally binding document developed for students who qualify for special education services under disability categories recognized by law.
An IEP includes:
- Your child’s current academic and functional levels
- Measurable annual goals
- Specific services the school will provide
- Accommodations and modifications
- How progress will be measured
- The amount of time your child will receive services
Parents are equal members of the IEP team. You have the right to:
- Participate in meetings
- Bring an advocate or support person
- Bring a translator
- Receive progress updates
- Disagree and request changes
- Request another meeting at any time
IEPs are reviewed at least once a year. Your child must be reevaluated every 3 years. Remember that this is a living document and an amendment can be made at any time.
What is a 504 Plan?
A 504 Plan provides accommodations for students with disabilities who do not require specialized instruction but still need support to access learning.
Examples of accommodations:
- Extended time on tests
- Preferential seating
- Breaks during class
- Modified homework load
- Health-related supports
Unlike an IEP, a 504 Plan does not include specialized instruction, but it is still a legally protected plan. It ensures your child is not discriminated against due to their disability.
How do I request a school evaluation?
Submit a written request (email) to your child’s special education teacher/coordinator asking for a comprehensive evaluation.
In your request:
- State that you are requesting a special education evaluation
- Describe your concerns (academic, behavioral, social, etc.)
- Ask for written confirmation
After receiving your request, the school must respond within a specific timeline. You will need to provide written consent before testing begins. The school has 10 school days to give you a written notice to ask for their consent to evaluate the child, once you return it, the school has 30 school days to complete the evaluation and either hold an eligibility meeting (IEP) or provide notice of ineligibility.
If the school denies your request, they must provide written explanation. You have the right to disagree and request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE).
If you are unsure where to start, you can:
- Contact your school’s special education department
- Speak with your child’s pediatrician
What if the schools resources are not meeting my child’s needs?
If your child is not making meaningful progress, or the supports in place are not appropriate, you have options. You do not have to simply accept what the school offers.
Start by asking:
Do we need different supports, increased service time, or a different placement?
You have the right to:
- Request an IEP meeting at any time
- Ask for updated evaluations
- Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) if behavior is impacting learning
- Ask about different placement options within the district
- Request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) if you disagree with the school’s evaluation
If concerns continue, you can:
- Request mediation
- File a state complaint
- Request a due process hearing
The school is legally required to provide a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE). If they cannot meet your child’s needs in the current setting, they must consider other appropriate placements.
Should I move my child to a different school?
Changing schools is an option, but it is usually not the first step. In many cases, concerns can be addressed within your current school by adjusting supports, services, or placement before making a larger transition.
Possible alternatives to explore first:
- A different classroom within the same school
- A specialized program within your district
- A center-based or regional program
- A neighboring district program (if your district does not offer appropriate services)
Some families consider:
- Public school of choice (if available in your area)
- Charter schools
- Private special education schools
*Important transition note: If your child has been out of school for a period of time, or is moving to a new school, the transition may be hard at first. It is common for behavior, stress, or anxiety to increase before it improves. Students need time to acclimate to the new routine, pace, teachers, and classmates. Be prepared for challenges in the first days, weeks, or months and work closely with the school to provide supports during this adjustment period.
Before moving your child, consider:
How will the change impact your child emotionally?
Sometimes the issue is not the building, but the services or how they are being implemented. Exploring and strengthening supports in the current setting first can often lead to meaningful improvements without the stress of a major transition. Planning ahead and expecting an adjustment period can make any change smoother and reduce stress for both your child and your family.
Therapy & Treatment
What therapies might help?
Common therapies include:
- Speech therapy – Helps with communication, language, and social skills.
- Occupational therapy (OT) – Supports fine motor skills, sensory processing, daily living skills, and independence.
- Physical therapy (PT) – Improves strength, balance, coordination, and mobility.
- Behavioral therapy (ABA) – Focuses on behavior, communication, and skill-building, often used for children with autism.
The right therapy depends on your child’s specific needs. A developmental pediatrician, neurologist, psychologist, or your child’s primary care doctor can help guide referrals.
How do I know if therapy is working?
Progress should be measurable and tied to clear goals.
You can ask providers:
What does your therapy look like?
Are sessions play-based, structured, or a mix?
What can we practice at home?
You should receive regular progress reports. If you’re not seeing improvement over time, you have the right to ask about adjusting goals, changing approaches, or even switching providers.
Will insurance cover therapy?
Coverage varies by insurance plan and diagnosis.
Many insurance companies require:
- A formal medical diagnosis
- A prescription or referral from a doctor
- Prior authorization before therapy begins
This is where a doctor’s diagnosis can make a big difference.
Having a documented medical diagnosis:
- Helps justify “medical necessity” for therapy
- Makes insurance approval more likely
- Can reduce the risk of claim denials
- Allows therapy costs to count toward your deductible and out-of-pocket maximum
If therapy is considered medically necessary and billed through insurance, what you pay (copays, coinsurance, deductibles) typically applies toward your annual deductible. Once your deductible is met, insurance may cover a larger percentage of the cost.
Without a formal diagnosis, insurance may deny coverage and classify services as educational or non-medical.
Helpful tips for parents:
- Call your insurance provider and ask:
Are there in-network providers?
- Request a “superbill” if you are paying out of pocket, you may be able to submit it for reimbursement.
- Keep copies of all evaluations and prescriptions.
Financial & Legal Questions
Are there government benefits available?
Programs may include Medicaid waivers, Supplemental Security Income (SSI), and state disability services.
What is guardianship?
When a child turns 18, they are legally considered an adult. Some families explore guardianship if their child cannot make independent decisions.
Should we set up a special needs trust?
A special needs trust can protect eligibility for public benefits while providing financial support.
Daily Life & Behavior
Challenging behaviors are often a form of communication. Your child may be expressing frustration, sensory overload, anxiety, or difficulty with transitions.
Helpful strategies include:
- Establish predictable routines (visual schedules can help)
- Use clear, simple expectations
- Give warnings before transitions (“5 more minutes”)
- Reinforce positive behaviors with specific praise
- Identify triggers (hunger, fatigue, noise, changes in routine)
- Teach replacement skills (asking for a break, using words or visuals)
If behaviors are frequent, intense, or unsafe, consider:
- Asking the school for a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA)
- Consulting a behavioral therapist
- Tracking patterns to identify triggers
Remember: behavior is communication, and understanding what your child is trying to express is the first step in supporting them and teaching more effective ways to communicate their needs.
What should I do during meltdowns?
Meltdowns are different from tantrums. A meltdown happens when a child is overwhelmed and cannot regulate their emotions. A tantrum is a goal-directed behavior where a child expresses frustration or tries to get something they want while still having some level of control. The key difference is why the behavior is happening and how much control the child has in the moment. In some cases, a tantrum can escalate into a meltdown if the child becomes overwhelmed.
During a meltdown:
- Stay calm (your calm helps regulate them)
- Ensure safety for everyone
- Reduce sensory input (dim lights, quiet space)
- Use minimal language, few words
- Avoid lecturing or reasoning during escalation
- Offer comfort if your child accepts it
Afterward (when calm):
- Gently talk about what happened
- Identify triggers
- Practice coping tools for next time
If meltdowns are frequent or severe, consider:
- Sensory supports (OT consultation)
- Emotional regulation therapy
- Medical or developmental evaluation if concerns persist
How do I help my child build independence?
Independence develops in small steps over time.
Start with:
- Teaching one skill at a time
- Breaking tasks into manageable steps
- Using visual checklists (making them on Canva, finding them on sites like Teachers pay Teachers, asking the special education teacher, school psychologist, or social worker to make one)
- Practicing daily living skills (dressing, hygiene, chores)
- Allowing extra time for practice
- Letting your child make simple choices
Celebrate progress, even small improvements matter. Independence may look different for every child, and that’s okay.
Emotional Support for Families
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed?
Yes. Parenting a child with special needs can be emotionally demanding. Support is essential.
Where can I find support?
- Local parent support groups
- Disability advocacy organizations
- Counseling services
- Online communities
How do we support siblings?
Encourage open conversations, one-on-one time, and age-appropriate explanations.
Planning for the Future
What happens after high school?
After high school, options may include:
- Vocational or trade programs
- Community college
- Supported employment
- Job coaching programs
- Day programs
- Independent or supported living arrangements
For students with an IEP, planning does not suddenly stop at senior year.
If your child is on a completion-based track (meaning they are working toward IEP goals rather than a traditional diploma), they may be eligible to continue receiving special education services through age 26 (depending on state rules), as long as they have not received a standard high school diploma.
This continued support is often called a post-secondary transition program or adult transition program.
These programs focus on:
- Job skills and vocational training
- Community participation
- Independent living skills (cooking, budgeting, transportation)
- Social skills
- Internships or supported work experiences
Important to know:
- If your child receives a regular high school diploma, eligibility for special education services typically ends.
- If they receive a certificate of completion instead of a diploma, they may continue in a transition program until they “age out” (often at 26, depending on state law).
- The decision to accept a diploma is important, families should understand how it affects continued services.
Can my child live independently?
Independence looks different for every individual. Many adults live semi-independently with supports.
When should we start transition planning?
Transition planning is required to begin by age 16 (in some states, earlier). However, starting earlier, even in middle school can be helpful.
Transition planning in the IEP should include:
- Measurable post-secondary goals (employment, education, independent living)
- Courses of study aligned with those goals
- Needed life skills instruction
- Connections to adult service agencies
Families should ask at IEP meetings:
Resources & Services
Neuropsychological Evaluation
Occupational Therapy, Speech, Physical Therapy, ABA
Therapy/ Medication
Helpful Websites
American Speech-Language-Hearing Association
https://www.asha.org/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaYJuAbIRBGIFO9g-nuyRQKzT1C3y-5WvbbbqmRenaWr5K_O4nWeJUFtUBo_aem_edzz2OOtwWdDPMBmubHJ4wAutism alliance of Michigan
https://autismallianceofmichigan.orgWe are here to support your family.
For additional guidance, please contact the Office of Life or your parish office.